I’m complicated and I don’t know what I want.
Try too little, I’ll get sick and tired and leave.
Try too much, I’ll feel overwhelmed and push you away.
You remind me of a cooler version of him. Ugh no.
Ex is an ex.
Now is now.
I need to stahp comparing
I think the biggest fear after a first date is wondering if there’s ever gonna be a second one.
Just gonna pretend this is some diary kinda thing LOL.
So after talking to him practically nonstop for the past week online, we finally met in person.
He came by and picked me up around the corner instead of in front of my house cause I didn’t want my parents to see of course.Then he drove me to Verde as promised and we went to Beard Papa’s afterwards where we got to sit down and talk for a bit. We were a little awkward at first, but I felt like we actually really clicked once we got comfortable. I could talk to him the same way I could talk to a friend I’ve known for years. We made another stop and then he drove me home. I don’t think I’d call this a date but it was a good first meeting. I think the one thing I liked best was it was just so laid back. No complications, nothing to worry about. Is this just a summertime fling? I don’t know. It’s too early to tell. But then again, what’s the rush? I’m not overthinking this one. Lol I gotta say, the fact that he can drive is a big plus considering we don’t go to the same school and it’s summer vacation. I wouldn’t say I really like him yet, but am I interested? Lol yeah I think so.
I have a good feeling about this summer.
Omfg I haven’t been on here for ages lol.
But anyway. School ended so I finally have time to let out my rants.
I’m just slowly giving up. There’s no point in trying if it’s not even worth it anymore. I’m done. If you want me in your life, put me in it. I won’t fight it any longer. Tired of trying.
Christmas shopping and hanging out with them was the best yesterday. We never really went this far to hang out before, so it was pretty fun ^^
- Went shopping at the two Forever stores and 2 H&M stores, each 3 stories high.
- Ate Panda Express
- Made more stops by Sephora, Sanrio, Aldo, Urban Outfitters, and Nordstrom.
- Helped Allan pick out gifts for his special someone (;
- Sharon’s mom drove us to Chinatown for dinner since Cheesecake Factory was waaaaay too full.
- Road Trip home was just too funny. Sharon and Kristine knocked out while Allan and I were laughing our asses off at their sleeping. Then I knocked out too so Allan was the only one up. I woke up to Sharon’s snore, then we all burst out laughing and woke everyone up x)
The moment you break down crying.You hold in everything until the moment you are finally alone in your room. You go to school, put up with all the people from school, you have to hold in your feelings and tears until you get home from school, your relationship with someone is now going down hill, then you have to deal with the shit your parents are giving you. One problem became something so much more to handle, every little thing in your life is going completely wrong and the moment you finally get time to be alone and catch a breather, you just sit there and break down thinking about everything
Your presence makes me too happy so please just stay as far away from me as possible. I don’t want to fall for you again. I can smile and say we can be friends, but I know somewhere along the way, I’m gonna mess it up again.