Your presence makes me too happy so please just stay as far away from me as possible. I don’t want to fall for you again. I can smile and say we can be friends, but I know somewhere along the way, I’m gonna mess it up again.
That question’s been on my mind for about 2 years now. For most days, we were strangers. For some days, we were friends. And yet other days, I feel like there’s something more but I can’t tell. The one thing that’s for sure is that you’ve always been important to me. Out of a crowd, you’re still the first person I notice. On a crappy day, your presence still makes me happy. You were a special part of my past, once a close friend, and the one person who hurt me the most. But what about me? What was I to you and what am I now?
I think I’ve turned into a much more angry person lately. I don’t know if it’s cause of all this stress that’s changing me, but I’ve just been bitching about thing after thing. I haven’t exactly been tolerant either. Been yelling at my friends instead of holding back like I usually do.
Lol please don’t think our lives still revolve around you in any way. You’re not even a topic of conversation anymore, yet you still think we’re caught up about it? The fact that you’re assuming things that aren’t even there, lol trust me, we’ve had enough of that. Please just don’t assume we’re always talking about you or looking at you. We’ve long moved on from the past and I suggest you do too.
I used to spend a lot of my time being depressed over the past. But now I’m beginning to realize that sometimes, you lose certain friends in order to gain better friends. Realizing this is keeping me moving forward instead of looking back.
I wanted to warn you about her. The only problem I had was that even though we’re good friends now, we’re still technically exes. I didn’t wanna warn you about her and make myself look like “a jealous ex.” But I guess it’s time to be honest.
Aside from the stress at home and from school, I like my sophomore year so far. I’ve been able to meet new people, get closer to a lot of people, and we’ve all been having some pretty good times. Things have been pretty busy lately and I barely have time to just sit around and do nothing. But I guess it’s a good thing. This is what it feels like to have a life. LOL
My parents don’t even know the real me. They don’t know how many tears I’ve cried. How many nights I spent waiting for a call. How many times I’ve been hurt by someone. They don’t know that their “little princess” has grown up.
Before you got all that attention from girls, you were this gullible, yet innocent and sweet guy. I don’t think you have a single clue that almost everything about you is changing. You’re slowly becoming a really big douche.
A lot of times I’m starting to find myself admiring/envying those girls with so much confidence to talk to the person they like. I used to have the nerve to take a chance and go for things, but not anymore. Past failures eventually made me believe temporary happiness isn’t worth the pain left behind in the end. I don’t know where my confidence went anymore. I used to be the one to encourage people to go for it, but I can no longer take my own advice. I’m passing up every opportunity because I just don’t have that same motivation to try anymore. I just don’t.
You start giving them all of your attention because they’re what makes you forget everything bad that’s going on in your life. They’re the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last one before you sleep just so you can start and end your day with a smile. It all sounds great to have that someone, but it’s scary to think about how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away too when they go.
“I wanted to tell you everything. Maybe if I’d been able to, we could have lived differently, maybe I’d be there with you now instead of here. Maybe… if I’d said, ‘I’m so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything,’ maybe that would have made the impossible possible. Maybe, but I couldn’t do it, I had buried too much too deeply inside me. And here I am, instead of there.”—Anonymous (via mahalkitax3)
I know it probably meant nothing but I can’t but wonder how D.C. knew my name and why he bothered to say hi to me unexpectedly the other day. Like did someone tell you about me or did you happen to recognize me from fb LOL
I wish I was strong enough to say I’ve been so much happier since you left. But I can’t. You still have an effect on me, even though you’re long gone and you’ve moved on to other people. I still feel a mix of hatred and hurt when I have to deal with seeing you happy with someone else on my dash or news feed. It makes me want to block you so I don’t have to see any of it, but then you’d probably realize that I still care, and I don’t want you to know that. I want to make you believe that I’ve moved on just as well as you did and that I’m no longer hurt by you or our memories. I want to make you believe that I’ve found someone better. But in reality, none of that is true. Of course I’m not attached to you the same way I was back then, but I still can’t stand being replaced over and over again. Everything we ever did together that made me feel special is absolutely nothing compared to her. She’s one of the best things that’s happened to you and I’m just one of your mistakes. I feel a lot of hatred towards you for still being able to make me feel this way and towards myself for being such a weak little bitch and still caring. Now, more than ever, I wish we never met. I wish you were never a part of my life.